Dusk till da dawn!!

2010-11-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

I miss those days where I used to be committed fully when I blog..

The usage of bombastic words was what I meant of cause.

Anyway , I've got two papers to go tomorrow.

Statistics and Chemistry.. :(

Both papers , I hope I do you good!!

I'm practically drowning in caffeine right now.

One high tall thermos filled with coffee.

Caffeine makes my heart beat like shit for no reason!!

Crazy I know , but I'm forced to.

Planned to stay awake till I finish both papers.

So friggin much more to go!!

Sweet Jesus.. bless me and the others as well!!!

All I need right now is more coffee and EMINEM to keep me awake!!

2010-10-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

Fuckkk!!

I just felt like blogging today..

In fact I even started writing..

But in the midst of that , the people around me cant stop fucking bragging!!

Plus , my laptop is about to die and I cant be bothered to find the charger and fix it!!

For time being , I just need to be somewhere alone and peaceful..

To enjoy the good weather and also fucking express myself!!

2010-10-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

Wearing skinny jeans..
Matched with sneakers..
With the hair down forever..
Not wearing make up..
Carry along the unpredictable attitude always..
Those are her trademarks And that's her..
Dont like it?
Then just fuck off..
But you know what?
Deep inside she cares..
Just too afraid of losing another worthless friend...

2010-10-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

To you..
Falling in love is all about..
A pretty face..
Skinny structure..
Perfect hair..
And beauty comes before heart
Is it?

2010-10-08T23:24:00.000-07:00

Couldn't be bothered to blog about you..
The good old times we shared together..
The laughter that sent pains to our stomachs..
And made our eyes tear..
Cause somewhere deep inside I know that you never cared..
And you'll never
You dont give a damn about it..
And it doesn't even matter to you.
So why should I make you my priority when I'm just your option?

2010-08-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

Its sad when people you know become people you knew.
When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life.
How you used to be able to talk for hours and now you can barely even look at them...

2010-07-31T02:33:00.001-07:00

We always ignore the ones who adore us,
and adore the ones who ignore us.

2010-07-20T02:01:00.000-07:00

This sounds crazy..
But the 2 minutes can do wonders to make me miss you.

2010-07-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

All of a sudden..
I feel like taking a wrong bus and getting stuck somewhere I dont know..
All cold and alone..
Letting go what I've been holding on for so long..

2010-07-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks.
I guess it's not tonight.
I'm up with several posts but I'm not so contented with posting something pictureless.
Will keep trying..

2010-07-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

You loath me because you're jealous of something that I have and you don't.
It's simple as that loser.

2010-06-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

Just for the sake of updating I would like to type whatever is running in my mind right now.
Well I've started studying back like after nearly 8 months of break.
Initially 8 months in the process of turning stupid.
I dont remember quite a number of decent thing.
Which eventually lead to severe frustration.
Each time I sit in the class during the lecture , I feel like giving my brains a massive twirl.
Seriously , who doesnt feel that way when you feel like you've read that particular subject somewhere but dont seem to get it.
GAH!!
This is so irritating.
Reading this post , I'm sure my parents would get very upset with me.
Literally like really really upset to this core.
They might just jump into a conclusion that I've turned up into a screw up after getting the first taste of freedom.
This post is so ironic if you were to compare me with the kind of kid I was back then in school.
Anyway , I'm not giving up and I will not.
As it's always said , something is not worthwhile when it's worth giving up.
Not forgetting that everything is worth a try...

Ipoh Mali Talak Sombong!

2010-06-19T00:55:00.000-07:00

Hey bloggie! Hey hey bloggie.
Lol..how fandom?!
Looks dead in here..
I have loads of things in my mind practically.
I'm just not sure if I'm able to put all of them in words.
Let me start with my college first..
Hah what?!Lol..Yea I joined college already.
I'm currently doing my A-levels in Science at Disted , Penang.
Whenever I tell people that I'm already in Penang , they kept asking me questions like " why Penang but not KL" , "Woah! So far meh?!"..
Ermm..all I gotta say is get an atlas my friend.
Lol..farneyy! I get the fact that many people address me as a party animal (even my fam) but it's not like I'll be doing it "25/8"!!Apart from that , I found a few friends who're undoubtedly friggin awesome.
And heck yeah , I love my dorm man!!
They have no rules there and there is no time restriction.
Get that? NO TIME RESTRICTION!
Any how I'm back in my Ipoh now.
Yeah Ipoh where hottest people hail from!
And the only reason I'm here is because I gotta grab my SPM books and also my certs.
Not forgetting that I missed my Caesar boy to the core! *Sampai nak menangis sudah*
But the journey from Penang to Ipoh..
Damn damn damn!! So tiring yo.
From the Rapid to the ferry and to the bus...grrr!
But I had some friends with me at that time.
So I didn't feel like awkward and lost..Lol thanks to them.
Anyways I'm returning Penang tomorrow all ALONE!
Let's see how it's gonna turn out.

2010-06-12T12:35:00.001-07:00

As of now it is the month of June in the year of 2010 , it is a quiet night on the 12th and my mind is running errands to overcome the anxiety problem I'm facing now that makes me call of as a jerk.
I do lots of things hidden and most of them are kept as a secret.
Sorry folks.Some things are always kept unsaid.
But I'm feeling blessed pretty much that I'm still alive and kicking.
If no one would every cry or miss me when I'm gone , trust me I would be happier.
I can always come up with an articulating plan of my own and as I wish.
You might think I'm very selfish , but look no further , I am one.
It makes me wiser I suppose.It gives me better nourishment.
Remember , in the end you will be back stabbed or even left feeling unappreciated.
Those good Samaritans you always hear don't exist in the real world morons.
My soul itches to face the reality which is the most awaiting mystery , as cliche as it sounds.
Just to prove that fact right , I'm not even crying now.
Nah ah!! Not even a single tear.
WTF?! I'm leaving a place called home and I'm not crying?
Leaving my family , friends and pets behind yet still no sobbing?!
Or is it the mixed up feeling of leaving made me ecstatic?!
No..this is just the eccentric me.
Now that sounds like me..

2010-06-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Eeeee..
I'm so addicted to that "budak"!!
The song he sang kept running in my head..
His perfection is always in my perception.
Loads of money , cool cars , flawless looks , talented..
Good life..

2010-06-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

~~Stop~~ Reduce the intake of candies , marshmallow and wafers to get rid of the fats.
Sleep for only ~~6 hours~~ 8 hours for more obvious cheek bones.
Stay away from nap to avoid a blotted face!!
Increase the intake of water to burn fats and health purposes.
Replace coffee with carrot juice+milk for breakfast to improve my perception.
Do not ~~shove~~ take anything after 8 p.m as our metabolism slows down.

P/S : GAH!! I'm determined. Must be 40 kg by August. If I can lose 7 kg in 4 months then 4 more kg shouldnt be a problem. Hear now. I've given my oath. Healthy living here I come.

2010-05-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

Another mild and not-so-exciting Monday!
So the vaccine is all injected into my system now , leaving me feeling screwed up all day long.
I can't even raise up my hand!!
Lol..
It aches like hell , like as if the needle hit my bone.
Gah!!
It's normal I know.
But it's so much better now after mummy patted my hand with towel soaked with warm water.
Fuish!
And from this you can see that I'm taken care of to the level of infinity.
I just don't know how I'm gonna leave all my beloved to the fairly decent college.
I wish I just lived in metropolitan where I can find a college nearby and just drive there every single day.
Add now when I say this , a big question related to freedom might just pop out.
Just to make things clear , freedom is not a superior thing in my life anymore.
Not that I'm not getting any of them now.
It's just that I'm happy living like this now.
Life's good as long as it puts a curve on your face.
I like my life.
At some point everyone has to get out of the house and find a decent living on their own right?
But it's always good to have your family around you most of the time.
You'll feel secured and confident 25/8!!!
At least I feel that though.

2010-05-22T23:04:00.000-07:00

What a fucking bad day?!
I effin forgot my phone code.
Sent it to reprogramme.
Now the shop owner is gonna think that it's a stolen phone.
To put it in layman term , I literally "ranjau-ed" the phone from someone or somewhere , which is utterly bogus + bullshit.
Needless to say , my Indian parents jumped into a conclusion saying that I'm trying to hide "something" , and that's the reason why a password is set?!
FARKKKKK!
And they kept poking fun on me for no reason.
Not forgetting , driving me up the wall by kept reminding me about my songs and pictures which are yet to be missed ?!
But the fact that my iTunes is more updated than my mobile kept me going , literally helps me to endure the rest of the day till it ends and gave me the strength to stand till 5 p.m tomorrow so that I could go and collect my baby :p
But I thank my dad from the bottom of my heart for lending me his old phone where I'm not even bothered to know what model it is.
Thanks dad *grins*

2010-05-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to make the appearance.
I never want to come back.
I wanted to let go the old memories.
I wanted to set you free.
Without realizing that I was apparently setting my own soul on fire.
Then I realized that I'm empty without you.
The face I looked in the mirror is just not the same anymore.
It will never be the same anymore.
I'd walk away if it was anybody but you...

2010-05-20T22:41:00.001-07:00

Thank you suckers for reading my previous post and giving it a hint on your statuses.
Look , it's not for everyone okay.
And I get the fact that everyone is just not the same.
If even you're an asshole , it's not of my fucking business as long as people of your kind don't stir my life.
I cant help much on your guilty pleasure unless you're the "kind" I mentioned earlier.
Drastic Times Call For Drastic Measures!!!
To say it in an non-professional , "Siapa yang makan cili , dia yang rasa pedas".
Did I pull it off with my national language?
Lol.

P/S : Do not stalk my blog. Even if you do , shut the fuck up and get over with my sarcasm.If I made you to feel guilty , then hang yourself or jump into the river. I don't mind. Just don't be a hypocrite.

2010-05-17T22:36:00.000-07:00

Study hard so that you can play hard..
Don't take my joy away by..
Telling me bout the other loser's failure ,
Giving me advices when you're ruin ,
I'm on for it ,
I TOO have brains...

2010-05-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

With you by my side..
I just want to face it all ,
All at once ,
Let them say all they want ,
I know I can definitely do it..

2010-05-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

I just hate it when they start to brag about my leaving to college!
Farkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk..
I have one more month still...
You guys making it worst..
[Insert Tamil expletives]
GAH!
That's because it's more spicy.

2010-05-14T00:12:00.000-07:00

I own nothing and am owned by none!

2010-05-13T00:29:00.000-07:00

I get the fact that ice-cream makes you bad..
But just so you..
At certain moments all of us really feel like we don't even have to give half a shit right?
Dont we?
Well , that's how I'm feeling right now.
GAH!
At least ice -creams makes me feel better and helps me to escape from my thick and achy head!! (sleep derivative)

2010-05-12T06:23:00.000-07:00

I'm jealous..because when you're lost in the fog you can still find your way back but I can't?

I'm jealous..because you're warm and cozy but I'm not?

I'm jealous..because you get to enjoy the dramatic dusk but I don't?

I'm jealous.. Because you're schooling and I'm not?

I'm jealous..because you get to stand in the Baltic coast and I don't?

2010-05-11T22:21:00.000-07:00

This is not a very pretty thing to admitt..
But yess!! I miss studying.
I miss exams.
I miss homeworks.
I miss burning the midnight oil.
I miss getting good grades.
I miss using my favorite pens and pencils...

2010-05-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm just different..
Weird..
Maybe one rare piece..
Or just a limited edition in the human types..
I change like the genre of your songs when you shuffle your playlist.
So don't try to figure me out!

2010-05-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

Life is like bungee jumping and cliff diving.
They take you up..upper..uppermost.
Just in one snap of the finger.. In one fraction of second..
BANG!! You're down.
Meters and meters away from the others..
All left cold and alone.
But still left sane and fair-minded ,
To deal with it by ourselves ,
Then it all depends on how smart we're to survive,
If you're stupid ,
Deeper you go with rush you had when you first started.
In the end ,
All that matters is how you survived ,
Not with whom you survived!

2010-05-09T02:33:00.000-07:00

He have got you
Begging on your kness..
Crying yourself to sleep..
Feeling disgusted with yourself..

All you have to do is find the will to be stronger and bolder..

That very fine day he will find himself so much weaker than he thought you could ever be.
And that's because he has lost the battle in your absence!

You both are mutual...
You performed together and forever!

2010-05-09T02:06:00.000-07:00

Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like a drawing from an inkless pen..
Some much effort is given..
But there's no meaning..
There's no trace..
There's no prove..
There's no response..
There's no smile..
There's no laughter..
There's no sincerity..
There's no care..
There's no memory to recall the past..
But only a heart full of aches and pains to tote along for the rest of existence.
But only puffy eyes that portray agony.
But only weak physics .
But only cold and sleepless night.
But only sunken soul.
But only an invaded mind.
But only an insecure feeling.
But only an emotional surrounding.
All twisted inside an innocent victim skinned alive by human traits wrapped with sorrowful lies...

2010-05-09T01:19:00.000-07:00

The silence of night..
Apparently paradox.
Rung in my ear.

The desire to make you mine..
Apparently paradox
Is always in my heart.

The contagious smile..
Apparently paradox
Killed me!

Your proportioned looks..
Apparently paradox
Made my heart to skip a beat!

2010-05-05T06:28:00.000-07:00

So finally the night fell with a delicious , mouthwatering and also savoriest wild boar curry!!
*Burpppp* That indicates that I've just taken my dinner :ppp
For time being , I'm targeting foods foods and more foods.
Before your mouth becomes "D-shaped" , let me tell you why.
It is because I will be leaving to "Prince of Wales" a.k.a Penang!
What is Penang without food. Not forgetting the beach!
I can feel the adrenaline jolting through my everything in the line of my eagerness to taste a FROG DISH!!!!!!
My dad told me that there's an awesome place in Penang where they make the best frog items.
I'm not weird.
Just a big fan of exotic food.They are oriental dishes okay!!?
I've tried MONITOR LIZARD!! YES!
I did. Both roasted monitor lizard and also monitor lizard noodles. (And that creature's jaw was floating on the cloudy soup in my bowl!)
And a few other too..
Like goat's liver and TONGUE!..our very own pasar malam's stinky tofu..snails.
I eat pork toooo (You can consider that exotic if you dont!) GAH!
I'm telling you , the best meat on earth is deer meat!

2010-05-05T05:55:00.000-07:00

I was so darn pissed because of ..well my stupidity and anxiety !
So I goggled all the curse words.
And the result of it..
C'mon you already knew.

Nah you dont?!
Give it a try :/

2010-05-02T05:24:00.000-07:00

So you think I'm not gonna get any further with my sarcasm?
I'm sorry I can't help.
I'm born with it.
And raised up together!

2010-05-02T05:13:00.000-07:00

You guys are just so cunning , evil and mean as hell.
Defending her by insulting me?!
KUDOS!

2010-04-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

What's the use of having a public holiday when there's no one to take you to a PC Fair?!
Ugly fuck!
I'm gonna watch movie now.
Then inhale GLEE!

2010-04-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

I just feel so bad for ignoring your existence ,
For not replying your text ,
For ditching our convo which you started it literally,
For not wishing you on the special occasions ,
For not having you in my mind 25/8 ,
For not nudging you when I see you online,
For turning down all your invitation..

But boy..
Just remember that I'm returning the FAVOR!

Your mummy didn't tell you that karma is a bitch did she?!

2010-04-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

This comes from the pit of my stomach..
Every time when I follow my mum to fetch my sister from school ,
or just pass by the compound..
I'm very fond to expel the word "FARKKKKK" from my mouth!
GAH!
I just hated high school so much! Like so much.
Not that I hate T.C.$..I loved it!
I'm digging on it now :ppp
But just the fucking environment.
The shitty cold and damp morning.
With all those fucking lectures that might just drive a sane person up the wall and make her run around the field NAKED!
And did I mention the lousy lessons which I didnt even bother to concentrate? (Not entirely..but I did in some interesting ones like English,Add math , Physics and also Chemy)
Another reason for my hatred is concerning on the "school dress code".
Where you have to wear an under skirt beneath the pinafore , and a singlet under the white shirt. ( tacky and flashy colored bras are a total no-no)
I still remember the humiliating times in high school.
One fine day I had to let my hair loose at the back of the assembly just because I fucking curled it and it was fucking long!
What the fudge man?!
It's not even Afro or Bob Marley,
Oh wait! Pulling grass the whole entire period before recess in the school field with my girls is also counted in.
This thing took place somewhere towards the end of my schooling days before I sat for my SPM.
Just imagine standing in front of the whole morning session student during the assembly just because we threw flours and splashed water on each other during the farewell party!
(Literally we had "fun"!)
Another degrading moment will be when the teacher catches you sleeping in her not-so-interesting-but-friggin-boring class.
Like DUH!
Not forgetting patience testing moment when the clock never seem to move when you can't feel your ass anymore. (numbness)
Now , you call be a hypocrite.
I don't give to fucks.
And just dont think of three either.
This is the rendition of my feeling!

P/S : I'm glad that I'm not schooling anymore! I HATE SCHOOL (but I graduated with good and contenting grades though. Not a 100% brad)

Skinned alive.

2010-04-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

I just don't see the smile once I had in me.
The smile where one of those girls have now.
I miss all those nice times.
I miss the good life.
The times where I could go on laughing all day long.
Carrying so much pain in the heart and faking a smile is the hardest thing to do right now.
It might just sound so random , but you'll never know till you face a dilemma like mine.
Seeing you pretending that you're happy when I'm the reason for all your pain excruciated my existence.
It penetrates my heart.
And invades my soul.
Those who insulted , humiliated and disgraced you shall face the music tomorrow.
Like how it's written in the Gospel..
Those who bless you be blessed.
Those who curse you be cursed.
But tomorrow or maybe someday ,
Everyone deserves a good comfy life.
Maybe I don't..but you do.
For all the hardship that I gave you.
For all the degrading and mortifying position I've put you in.
That vile and despicable scumbag has no right to utter that question to you.
I know that immoral and perverted dimwit made you feel skinned alive.
But maybe just someday I will prove to him that you're better off.
One opportunity and one fling is all needed!

2010-04-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

Please God.
Enuff!
It's not funny.
I admitt that now I'm desperate.
Plss..
I'm looking forward for tomorrow..
For something which super-important!

2010-04-27T04:32:00.000-07:00

The world is so fucked up that it never fails to disappoint me. EVER!
Discontentment after discontentment!
Expectation after expectation!
Waiting everyday for tomorrow..
But tomorrow never comes.
If going berserk is the last option..
Trust me , I would!

2010-04-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

Another shitty epic failure!!!
Your mum la.
Bring on tomorrow suckas!

2010-04-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

Dreaming about the day when I'm going to show up on the first day in a bright shiny BMW convertible :)
Like I told you i'm dreaming.
HEH!

2010-04-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

I thought music can seriously heal my soul.
But it's making it worst.
Or maybe everything in my iTunes are like just the same.
I'm sleeping without peace today for sure!
oh crappy!
I can't even sleep?!
Please make it a good start today with realizing all my expectations!
Purlishhhhhhh..I do rather go on my knees.
I want this like real bad.

2010-04-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

I was like actually checkin my horoscope.
The usual routine.
And guess what the fuck :

"You may be more than a little frustrated by the end of the day, Sagittarius, due to one interruption after another. Cancellations and delays mark the day as well, through no fault of your own. It's likely that Mercury, having sped up to an almost normal pace, is upsetti...ng things that have gotten used to the retrograde; this is happening in a troublesome area of your Solar Chart. The best thing you can do is to try to find some value in the delays. You'll be much happier if you appreciate the unexpected."

URGH!
I'm depressed like shyt now.
And this thing here is more than enuff to stir the hell out of me!!!!!!!
BIAAATCHHHHHHH

2010-04-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

I hope at least tomorrow will be a reason for me to smile.
I need peace Lord can?! :/

2010-04-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

This might just sound so funny and stupid!
But I just got a "panic attack" again!
My hands and feets are cold.
My heart is beating hell fast.
And i'm breathing so audibly that even my dog woke up?!
Oh god.
Please just help me.

2010-04-26T06:37:00.000-07:00

Another anticipated master piece!

Stephenie Meyer tells the devastating story of Bree and the newborn army as they prepare to close in on Bella Swan and the Cullens, following their encounter to its unforgettable conclusion.BLAH BLAH BLAH!

To cut it short , to you Twihards , do you remember the random new born vampires created by Victoria? If you do , then this Bree is one of them.And she is the only one who's well-behaved if I remember.But she got killed in the end. Some where around the arrival of Jane I suppose.
Correct me if I'm wrong :p It's been like ages since I read Eclipse.

But I believe I will never go wrong in this issue. *Grins*

2010-04-26T06:11:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like fucking blogging today.
That's because I'm not in the freaking mood.
I guess I'm using the word "fuck" more than anyone else will ever use it in their blog.
And I just don't know why.
Anyways it's in the dictionary so it's legal to use.
I don't give a flying fuck if you don't like it.
Another option is just to bare with me for hell's sake.

P/S : Today didn't go like I expected. And I feel like screaming STFU to everyone and just smash the TV.Damn!Anyways I've decided to give it a try tomorrow.Plus , I've considered making someone fucking wait (for something official and important) for you is the biggest "freaking minor" sin can anyone commit.

2010-04-25T10:44:00.000-07:00

It's funny how I've got loads of stuff to vomit on my blog when I'm hell sleepy and when it's dawn!
I have something in my mind right now.
But my thoughts are twisted with complications and drawbacks.
So the key is to not post anything right now.
If not I will end up posting something so immature blended with screwed up vocabs , no?
Just wanted to update.
I'll be watching GLEE after this.
Season one , episode 15. *YEY?*
Yes it's not on tv YET!!
But I downloaded it.
And I'm really really hoping tomorrow will be a good-BIG-ass day!!!!!
If it's going to turn to be a one-hell-of-a-day , I'll have a lil peace of my mind.
Or at least live the remnants blissfully with my oh-so-cool family and friends without worrying.
Literally , I'm hoping and praying that I will get what I want tomorrow. (Tell you about it in the next post.
Or maybe my wanting is just lurking?!!
What ever it is..I gotta have it tomorrow!!!!
I mean which is like today technically!
Pray for me momma!

2010-04-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

Hey guys..
It's a good day isn't it?
So how did it go?
And *tada*
Spot the difference..
I know I know..
It's the layout..
Pretty isn't it :p

2010-04-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

Hey we're reaching May already guys!
Amazing eh how time flies?!
The more faster the more excited and thrilled I get.
It would be better if it's already June.
Just imagine , half a year is like already gone.
And you've got only another 1/2 to go through!
Now days I don't give much thinking on how fast the time goes.
Like seriously.
The faster the better.
As I said I'm thrilled.
If I was a school kid maybe I would worry.But not anymore.
Darn! I just can't wait to settle down!
I would be happy if I was 24 *grins*

P/S : Wonders how it feels like to become public?
It's not like becoming famous in the sense of a fucked mean high school girl famous among certain clan of junkies and wannabes but in the sense of becoming famous for ones good deed.
How?

2010-04-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Hey guys..It's sharp 3.31 am now.
Lol.
So I mentioned about my wish list yesterday right?
It's all set now.I'm just thinking and contemplating to post it here.
So give me some time right?
After all i'm a freaking noob and a dork to this "grown up" world.
And my mom told me that I've got no discipline. ANYMORE!
To be exact I've lost it ( in her point of view).
So she's thinking of taking back my gadgets and gizmos.
Most probably she will give it to me back when I start schooling.
Nothing to panic here!
It's for my own good after all.Technically , I'm kinda repel technology now.
So , I believe it shouldn't be a problem , no?
And Ammi I love you so muchy much!!!
No matter what havoc I do or say , I've never done it with my heart. Never once!
I'm sorry for the dorky thing I've done just now. I feel like banging my forehead to the wall?!
I wouldn't trade you,Appa or Lenna and also Caesar boy to the world!! Not in this birth.
I wish I could say sorry to you guys directly to the face.
But I've got no guts. And I really really feel ashamed and also uncomfortable mentally.
That's because I not used to asking sorry lah!

So does God read blogs too? I hope he does.
Seriously I want him too.
And also please help me to manage my anger and also give me loads and loads of patience!
PURRR-LISH?!

2010-04-23T12:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry mum :((((((

2010-04-22T21:45:00.000-07:00

I want to have a "beer and wing" party!!
DUH!
I wish :p

2010-04-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hey guys :p..
It's like already 4.06 a.m..
It's like already another brand new virgin day.
LOL.
Imma sleep in a few minutes time.
First thing I'm want to do after waking up is to create a wish list. ( Things that I MUST accomplish in the future. Which is yet to come :p )
And the second one will be jotting down a huge list of things that I MUST buy and things that I CAN still live without.
Darn! I must read some articles on err saving?! LMFAO!
But I will. I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna need it in future,
Read my dad's self-motivation books too. Flipping at least 10 pages will do. At least something :)))
Owh yeah! I MUST MUST MUST continue reading BACK the bible.

GAH!! I'm determined :p

Notes for me :
Start lazing around tomorrow and you'll never survive I tell you!

2010-04-21T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm telling you..
I swear on God that I envy those teen celebs from the bottom of my heart!
I cross my heart..
Darn who doesn't?
Photo shoot , concerts , designer cloths and shoes , body guards and MONEY!
No school too..
Good life !

2010-04-21T05:27:00.001-07:00

Ponte Vecchio “Locks of Love”

Don’t get me wrong- the Ponte Vecchio in Florence itself is incredibly stunning, but what I was most intrigued by were the locks lining the bridge in various places. They were “locks of love,” locks that couples would write their names on and then lock to the bridge to symbolize their everlasting love. After closing the lock, they would toss the keys over the bridge into the depths of the water.

While this is now illegal to do, many locks still remain on the bridge and have become an attraction in their own right to romantics from around the world.

P/S : Wonder why they don't have this kind of stuffs in "here"!

2010-04-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

After 6 months of my swimming training , I'm calling it quits.
It's time to get ready.
And it's also time to get myself on the go.
And it's time to quit Ipoh too :/
I mean soon. it will be time.
Or maybe when every one is on the go , doing their job perfectly without making others wait..
The world will be a perfect place to live!

2010-04-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

I miss eating Raspberry Truffle..:(
Oh Yeah Brownies too..
And I would kill to have my Starbucks Caramel Frap NOW!!!!
Oh no!!
I'm thinking of Chocolate Fondue..with cherries and strawberries :))))
I could smell chocolate loaf cakes..
And I just pictured Butter Scotch in my mind..
And did I tell you that I'm craving for McDonalds Big Mac?
McNuggets too :)

GAH!!! It's just a sensation caused by my hallucinatory condition.
Yes I hallucinate when I'm on diet!

I always think of extravagant and unrestrained food.
I just do not know why.

Starting from today I'm gonna regulate my food.AGAIN!!
Lately I've been eating a lot.

For breakfast I took Hash browns and also the oh-so-yummy cheese omelet my mum made.
Together with a warm milk.
And for lunch, I wacked my mum's chicken sambal to the core with nasi minyak! And not forgetting half a bottle of coke.
As for dessert I took a stick of ice-cream and also Connetto.
(My mum rebelled to eat hers)
Yesterday's seasoned pork and burger lembu special Ramly and also chicken legs with ketchup also counted in.

Hahax..I sound like a temple for food right?! Guess I am one.

P/S : If you're looking for a lunch/tea/dinner date , just buzz me. I'm good at food and I will show you the stairway to heaven of food. Provided that you're paying the bill :))))))

Enjoy reading while I get my hands on the chappatti with ghee my mum made.Not forgetting the forever awesome dhal curry!

2010-04-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

"Girls have got balls.But they are just a little higher up.That's all" - Joan Jett

2010-04-18T09:30:00.001-07:00

I seriously need a retail therapy!!
I mean like now.
The world is so fucked up that everyone needs one.
This is for sure.
Or maybe people like me.I get very frenzied when ever I see nail polish , shoes , skinny jeans and bags!!
At least they keep me free from mental derangement :p
They keep me sane man.
Looking forward for a party so much.
Right now the party animal in me is just sleeping!

P/S : It's funny how when you have money you'll feel bored. And when you're out of rooks and pocket is all sucked dry you get so hyper that you wanna get wild!

2010-04-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

What is reality anyway?
Does boozing , smoking and dancing all night counted in as well?!

2010-04-18T04:41:00.000-07:00

I just get freaking wild when screw ups tend to tag me in random pics.
For instance their own pic with their face alone in it.
If you can't find my face in that pic, then why tag?
It's like they are so desperate for damned picture comments..
Initially wanting us to say "Oh my god you're so handsome/cute!!".
URGH!
Fucking stupid la.
Grow up!

2010-04-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

Why does Twilight Saga's sound track alone have to be like so so good?
I mean seriously..
From each and every aspect you see..
Like from the genre to the lyric and to the tune.
Oh boy! So dreamy..
It's like they have all the good songs to listen when you're home sick and also broken hearten!
Damn!
Looks like I'm collecting all of them for well err..the upcoming matters to be acted and also the future heartaches!
And did I mention phenomenon too?!
GAH!

2010-04-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

Come with me to the dark side..
We'll have candies.

2010-04-15T05:47:00.000-07:00

I want a photographer boyfriend:)

2010-04-13T10:40:00.001-07:00

Nobody can steal away someone from another person..

Unless the so called "stolen person" is willing to make the switch!

2010-04-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

The night is just like too long without my lappy by my side!

Yea..it's in the shop right now.

Sent it to upgrade from Windows Vista to Windows 7!!

Just hate it man..

He's the best when he's with me.

No one takes care of him like I do.

Not another soul!!

Just thinking how's his condition right now.

I sound crazy , I know..but..yeah!!

You know what I mean right..

When something close to your heart is far away from you..

It's like that..It has always been in that way.

I'm paranoid.

I want this day to be tomorrow.

Or maybe just forget everything and party like there's no tomorrow.

Like tomorrow is the doomsday!

I seriously need to go for a check up..

To find out whether I'm suffering from any ANXIETY DISORDER or something!

And I'm hell serious about lah..

Baybee I'm missing you.

Come to momma tomorrow Honey!

My PC suxx..

I'm already used to blog on the bed.

And now..in front of this big gigantic thing..

Haih!! Suxxxxx..

As usual..

People say that we tend to forget the old one when we get something new.

Can't help it.

Every human's nature!

2010-04-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

My golden streaks are changing into something like..errr copper!!
Too much exposure of chlorine in the pool!
My skin tone as well..It's like so uneven.
I'm TANNER (get that!initially i'm tanned also) from the collar bones till the rest of my hand.
It's a big eye sore whenever I wear tank tops or spaghetti..no more eye candy!!
Ultraviolet ray suxx big time..till the last worlds end!But in the end its all part of it..
To get something better, you have to sacrifice something else..
Thats what my mum told!
Heck yeah momma!
I'm a sacrificer...
If its not because of swimming..i wont be having an arm like this :

You got that. That's one helluva arm!! I guess.
LMFAO!
haha..
Just kidding ya.
Have a good day yal!

2010-04-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

Remember the times when protection only meant for wearing a helmet?
Remember the times where getting high was only meant for swinging in playground?
But it's not after lollipops turned into cigarettes.
When soda became vodka.
When kisses turned into sex.
And when skinned knees turned into heart breaks..

2010-04-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

That hair is something to die for!!
My upcoming style..err i guess!

2010-04-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

Alexandre Desplat plays..
And there she goes..
Walking down the memory lane.
Still contemplating whether it's a memory or a nightmare.
And finding answers for an unknown question!

2010-04-09T09:06:00.000-07:00

I felt like giving my brain a massive twirl through my eyes after..
Uh!! Never mind..
Should have just left my eyes at home.
Or just thank god that I wasn't wearing my specs.
Why? Oh why?
And why I'm typing this when I'm hearing that song?
Why am I home?
Why I went there?
Why I have to see that?
Why I have to get stuck when I was about to say a damn bloody Hi?
Why I can't act NORMAL to start a Hi-Bye convo?
Why I was stupid?
Why I have to get goosebumps?
Why my heartbeat rate has to go up?
Why there's no spark?
Why there's no excitement?
Where is my butterfly-in-my-stomach-moment?

2010-04-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

I miss the days in the pool..
With the Sun shining so brightly...
So cool yet peaceful..
I miss swimming!!
I wanna have my very on personal pool where I can go and chill everyday and all day long..grrr!

2010-04-07T09:03:00.001-07:00

I always wanted be :

*Tada*..Kim K.
seriously dude!
That Armenian offspring is like so indescribable.
Who said curvy women can't be hot?
You? Kindly hang yourself please.You seem to be so retarded.
Aww..just so elegant and sophisticated.
With that super sexy legs and a slim hip.
And her hair is something to die for.

P/S : I ain't a lesbo or whatsoever you call it. I'm straight yo! C'mon every girl needs a role model right. So I've choose Kim K for her beauty :pp Who's yours?

2010-04-07T01:00:00.000-07:00

Mum started to talk about shopping for college.
Dad started to ask about medical checkups.
Aunt gave suggestion on what food to bring along.

Oh my shocking everything!!!
I'll only be leaving on the mid June guys.

:((((((((

2010-04-04T12:06:00.000-07:00

That camera shop owner is such a pukimak i would say.
I'm pissed!!
Let's see how it goes tomorrow.
I want back my cam like how i gave it to him a month ago!!!

2010-04-04T07:46:00.000-07:00

I miss those times where I would stay up so so so late just to finish reading a BOOK?!
call me a nerd. I would scream YES till the top of my lungs.
These days I just can't find any interesting book.
It makes me feel like a scum.
Dan Brown is just not my cup of tea.
It might evoke many people's interest but just not mine.
Reading Angles and Demons and also The Da Vinci Code drove me up the wall.
The story line is just too heavy for me.
My dad says Dan Brown is a person to die for , no?
Remember those times where he used to brag about Digital Fortress.
But he's a genius I would say.
Most of the time I would go for Stephanie Meyer and Cecelia Ahern.
It's not because of the whole Twilight Phenomenon..but its for the storyline and also the vocab and also bombastic description.
Anyways,Midnight Sun was the most anticipated one.
But it's not after someone stole the draft when her project was still in progress.
What a loser?!

2010-04-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

I have loads of thing in mind. I'm just afraid that they may interest the wrong people with simple mind!
Let me think about it before i post it here.
As a Roman Catholic by conviction , I'm hereby wishing every Christian Holy Easter!
Have a colorful one =)

2010-04-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

"Aah ! i seem to have forgotten your name...can i cal you mine? ? ? and in case you forget mine too.......Cal me Yours !!"

2010-03-28T04:40:00.000-07:00

When all of them were complaining..
I thought they were grumpy!?
But now I know how it feels like to turn down an offer..
To cut a long story short..an offer from a college you always wanted to go.
Few days back I received an offer letter from MMU to pursue my studies in Foundation in Engineering. Urgh! Finally.
But it wasn't long after I changed my mind to study something else.
Something more general.
Where it can lead you to do health sciences or engineering.
Where you can have a wide option.
But still?! I always wanted to go MMU (even I hated metropolis like so much)
Not only MMU..but I turned down other too..
Like Kasturi College and also UPM.

Here's the beauty of the story.
After me turning down all the offers so honorably..I got turned down for my MARA/JPA scholarship.
That's why people say..what goes around comes around , no?!
It's confidence breaking much!
It's like they dumped you in the dumpster because you're useless to them.
Just stupid maybe.
Guess i'm just hard on myself.
Getting scholarships are competitive just in the government sector i suppose.
But i'm just hanging on..there are better and brighter things waiting for me out there.
I've loads more to consider. Scholarship and rebates in private institutes.
Just boosting my confidence by thinking that its their loss for not having great people like me as part of their scholars. LMFAO!!
Mayne! I'm just so close to straight a's.
But my bad. BANG!! There goes my future and dreams.
But that's okay.
As soon as I start reading pre-u , I would work hard. I MUST!
Get a good pointer..
Hahax..and then I'll try to get my hands on all those scholarship.
Don't call me greedy!

2010-03-28T04:28:00.000-07:00

Every girls brains will be inside their head..
True enuff?!
Then why the hell them idiot's brains meant to be in their ass?

2010-03-25T09:11:00.000-07:00

You make me feel so lifeless when you do that.
You make me feel like a failure.
You make me feel like a loser.
You make me feel like I wanna be them.
You make me feel like as if I wanna be a better person...do better thing!
You mean the world to me.
You're my world.
Lovers come and go..
Friends too..
But you're always there for me!
You are one..

2010-03-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

I'm already nurturing a lump of desire for that since small.
What you told me today is the sweetest thing of course.
It warmed the cockles of my heart.
I swear!
You told me that u can sense it.
But I just want it to be true.
I want that to come after me.
Looking for me.
Deep down in my heart..
I know that has been destined for me.
I'm ready to face it all.
All and everything at just one shot.
And bang!!
Happiness for the rest of my life..our life.
It will be perfect for us.
Through me..all of you heartbeats can smile.
Then North South East West will be a total bliss.
Trust me please.
I will make it happen.
I will give you my soul..
Then anything will be possible.
It will be like the word impossible never existed.
Never once!!!!!!

2010-03-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

" Death is peaceful and easy.Life's harder" - Bella Swan,Twilight.

You might wonder what i'm trying to imply by posting the most infamous quote. Guess it's for me to know and for you to never find out.

Life's like a piece of trash right now.
Even if I don't own a castle I must be thankful that I can eat everyday and satisfy some whims.

Live your life as you wish and trust me. I will give you my whole world and just get a little pace for myself to fit in.

2010-03-22T01:11:00.000-07:00

"What's for lunch?''..You shall ask.
"Crackers!!!"..I shall say.
Lol..
Peanut butter with choco chips and Blueberry jem is like a total YUM!!!
Mum made fish curry today. And I was like WTH?!!
It's not like mum suck at cooking.She's the best cook I've ever seen.You know..just like a diamond in the rough I would say.But I just hate to eat fish curry. Did I mention rice too.
And yea..rice is a bad diet. It makes you fat. FAT!!!!!!!!

Supposedly I have to take crackers and yogurt for tea time..but but..haha
I might get my hands on Wooley's later for tea time. And during that period I might as well make a order like as if I'm going to take my dinner.So it's obvious that i'm going skip my dinner.
Yes!! I'm a weight looker!!!
Duh?!

Imma fetch my doggie from the groomer.
The grooming cost : 90$
This is like so extremely over for a 5 months old shih-tzu.
With that money I could have curled my hair.
Not the whole hair..but you know..half hair.
Or at least highlight. Or maybe just a clean trim.
Urgh!!
Pets come with a price tooo..

(bad webbie view)

2010-03-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

Drops of tears streaked noiselessly down her cheeks..
She tried to hide it.
But failed so miserably.
There's the pain which cut her through like knife.
And so tears became her most loyal companion these days!!

2010-03-21T09:54:00.000-07:00

Once I believed in dreams. These days.. I just sit and hope for miracles to happen. When I reach for my dreams
Even when I've tried a million times.
I kept falling.
And now I've lost all my energy.
But as long as I live ..
I'll keep trying
Each and every day.
Reaching for it...........

2010-03-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

Serious wanting for white coffee right now!!
Or just a chilled bottle of coke will do..
Or maybe it's just the cafein?!
Nah ah!!
I'm just too thirsty and sick of drinking gallons of water a day =/

2010-03-15T05:25:00.000-07:00

Where's the greenery here?

Emm guess i abandoned my blog once again.
Well it's a habit now.
Bet my baby-boo blog feels like a step sister now.
uh?!
Let's get to the point.
Been like so busy lately.
Busy-busy beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
So many stuff occurred.
From the JPA test to the movies i've watched to the SPM results to the new personal notebook to the NOKIA 553O to the handycam to the cash reward and to the college application and to the shopping spree and lastly to the lip tint addiction!
PHEW!!
Hopefully i can blog about it.
Just hope!
And also upload some pictures of my new super-duper-sexy-cool gadjets.

Am I the new soul in this very old world?
Or just the same one to this strange new world?

Too much isn't it?

2010-03-04T09:46:00.000-08:00

So tommorrow is the day huh?!

* Asks herself*

Heck yeah babeh!!

*Answered*

On the bed..

With her notebook..

Blogging comfyly with the air-con blasting..

Watching Lenna and Caesar sleeping peacefully..

Feeling kinda absurd with the presence of the huge-huge cabinet in her room..

Thinking about tomorrow..

Where it's gonna hold..

Afraid of being called a loser..

Making plans for the upcoming events..

Hope everything turns out pretty good..

Papa and mama i need you guys by myside.

I know i sound like a kid here..

But all you gotta know is deep down in my heart i'm still the baby you saw 18 years back.

You have no idea how I fell like an innocent child all over again when you're there to hold my back at my worst.

And Mi..

There are no words to explain that feeling i had the other day..

The day where you stood in front of me like and angel..

Comforted me..

Made me feel good..

The day i broke down while listening to your voice.

And Pa..

You are my hero..

Every drop of your sweat and blood would be the reason why i'm still alive today..

I was floating in the air when you told him that no matter what I did you're still proud of me..

And you never did..

Never once compared me to the other kids..

2010-03-02T09:30:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm facing horrible anxiety problem.
It just started i guess.
Trust me..it's extreme paranoia.
Thank god that i don't get panic attacks multiple times and thank god that i'm not advised to take any sort of drug to overcome this problem.
Absolutely miserable right now.
Damn it!!
You probably don't know how i feel right now.
But trust me guys..it's getting better after posting this.
Just practicing some breathing skills.
And also keeping myself near to God with the hope that he would help me.
(Reading the Holy Bible and praying)

2010-03-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

Guy very sorry for all the harsh words in my previous posts.
I just cant help it.
Using expletive calms me down.
Bear with it. Allow me.
Real sorry ;p

2010-02-25T05:16:00.000-08:00

Do you know that at times you can lose your virginity without other people touching you?
Yes!?
It's when fucking low class outsiders yell at you.
Because at the end you feel really fucked up to the core.

p/s : dear m**********s you will face the dreadful consequences soon. very soon. that's because you guys are old enuff. your life span is already short. so just shut that shithole and find a decent way to live of your leftover trashy life. I've a very long way to go. But you old hags..nah ah! It wouldn't be very nice if someone like me start using curse words and raise my hands on you assholes, would it? Think like a grown up suckers!

2010-02-15T23:18:00.000-08:00

Okay now!
I can't pretend that I'm always happy.
There's always something pricking some parts of me.
There are loads of freaking stuff I need to think off now.
Loads of complications and problems.
My results will be out in less than 4 weeks!!!
*OMG WTF?!*
Facing reality is hard isn't it?!
I can't be giving overriding reasons for growing up after all.
Frankly I couldn't bear the fear.
Trying asking the other "siblings".
World still haven't failed to surprise me.
And i'm expecting for more surprises.
Positive ones.
To cut a long story short..
I want what I wish for.
And what I worked for.
And I want it real bad.
God you know it very well.
Bet you know everything I've gone through.
All my pains.
My parent's sacrifice.
Show me signs that can easy my ache.
I'm ready to take this suffering now so that I can endure my days happily later.
I know that life can't be filled with perfect little moments all the time
But perfect LITTLE moments should pop out at the right time.
I'm downright miserable thinking about my future.
From womb to tomb I've been trying real hard to fit myself.
Hope all my efforts ain't gonna be worthless.
I know that I wouldn't be able to taste happiness if I'd never experienced downs now.

P/S : Say something to calm me down =/

2010-02-15T23:03:00.000-08:00

She was lost in another memory.
She puts on all the make-up..
Just to hide that sad face and screwed look
But it was soon enough for her to realize that she wasn't being herself..
NOT ANYMORE!

2010-02-10T07:45:00.000-08:00

I saw one of this Kris Allen's album today :)
Sadly it was like effin 40$ above.
So decided to bring mum and get it.
Who on Earth would ever waste money buying stuffs when you've got parents to burn rooks for you?
Oh you don't?!
I do Loser!
Bai was like "OMG he so cute la"
And I said " Cut that dude. He has a kid! Didn't play safe".
But that doesn't cover the fact that he is cute *Drooolz* Longest day of boredom seem to be stretching!
Decided to go out.
Yanked Bai along!
Parade!
Place to go in instant decisions.
Now you please don't ask me to story you about what I did there.
If you're cool you should know what single chicks do there.
Met up with Jeannie in the middle.
She tagged along.
Met up with a supa-rich dude who is willing to spend his money to buy Lazo Diamond ring.
But but...
*I'll keep it low*

Pictures of the day :

2010-02-09T19:54:00.000-08:00

Don't really understand people this days.
Get to know a girl in a social networking site.
Chat for maybe twice or thrice.
And then start asking her personal questions.
Hunt for her number.
Call her and have plans to yank her out.
When she rejects or avoid..
*BOOM BOOM BOOM*
Propose her!

P/S : Duh!! Grow up. It makes you look so FUGLY!